


Cold

by Overlord_of_Pairings



Category: Dude That's My Ghost!
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 12:30:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12817560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overlord_of_Pairings/pseuds/Overlord_of_Pairings
Summary: The thing about being a ghost is that you lose all sense of heat from when you were alive.Spencer, after all the years of Billy being dead, is able to give him warmth - but Billy feels it's wrong to revel in it.





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Blame this (http://www.spinnything.com/cgi-bin/sstprompt.py) for the angst.

Billy stared up at the ceiling with widened eyes. Spencer rested next to him, dozing peacefully, unaware of Billy's inner turmoil.

Billy's eyes happened to briefly glance to the side, and they caught on bruises at Spencer's neck. His heart, if it was still beating at this point, would have raced at the sight. Would have clenched in his chest at the evidence of what had just happened.

It had been over far too quickly - Spencer was still, or had been, a virgin, after all - and Billy was still hard. But the disgust he felt inside himself was enough to stop him from taking care of it, was enough to gently assure Spencer that he didn't need to do anything. The kid had felt bad for coming so quickly, but in all honesty it had been  _adorable_.

It had also been a reminder of how young Spencer was.

Billy rolled onto his side to look at Spencer properly. Eyes shut oh-so-delicately. Cheeks still slightly flushed from their activities. Hair mussed from where Billy had been grabbing as they kissed, as their tongues met, as things got heated-

Billy pulled away from Spencer sharply, and was grateful that the movement didn't wake Spencer.

Away from him, away from the young, mortal boy, he was cold, always was. It was why he was always grasping, touching him whenever it would be deemed appropriate - and sometimes when it wasn't. He loved the warmth that Spencer gave, loved the fact that he could actually touch him.

He didn't know why he couldn't touch anyone else. Didn't know why it was only Spencer. Perhaps he did, maybe, but he was so terrified of the answer that he dared not admit that he knew. Not to himself, and still not to Spencer, even if the boy had said the words plenty of times to him.

Billy loved Spencer.

Billy's terror, his disgust at himself, finally made his erection go down, but that was the least of his problems at the moment. Shakily, Billy reached down, gently brushed his fingers through Spencer's hair.

A spark of warmth. It made him sick with angry, vengeful butterflies.

The touch made Spencer's eyes flutter open, and Billy pulled back. Floated away from the bed. Spencer sat up a little, rubbing tiredly at his eye with a hand. "Billy? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Spencer's joke wasn't funny to Billy, and where he may have at least cracked a smile on any other day, today, his expression stayed the same terrified, disgusted one he had had before.

It got Spencer's attention, and Spencer sat up more completely now, starting to fully wake up. "Billy?"

Billy shook his head, blinked away ectoplasmic tears that were coming to his eyes. "I'm fine," he said, despite knowing that Spencer wouldn't take that as an answer - the narrowing of the boy's eyes being proof of that.

"Billy, I know when something's wrong with you. And clearly, something is really,  _really_ wrong with you. Just tell me... Please?"

Billy sighed shakily. He couldn't escape the grasp of a worried Spencer Wright, he thought bitterly. "We shouldn't have done that, Spence."

Spencer's expression looked as if someone had slapped him in the face. "You... Do you regret it?"

Did he?

After a moment of hesitation, of thought, he decided that, on some level, he didn't - but on other levels, he definitely did. "I don't know," he said honestly. "But what I do know is that you're too young to be doing something like that. You shouldn't have let me do that."

"Let you? Billy, in case you don't remember, I'm the one who initiated it. I'm the one who initiated our relationship, I'm the one who initiated our first kiss, our first make-out session, and I'm the one who initiated this. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

It was all true. Billy had no reply.

He had always let Spencer set the boundaries in their relationship. Hell, when they'd gotten together, Billy had had to ask at least twenty, thirty times to make sure that Spencer really wanted to be with him! Any time Spencer wanted Billy to stop whatever he was doing, he'd stop - no questions asked.

Was he really that bad, then? Was it really so wrong to revel in Spencer's warmth?

He came a bit closer, but he didn't fully come back to the bed yet.

"Billy," Spencer said, voice soft and gentle, "I love you. I don't regret a thing, and I don't think you should either."

Billy would always have doubts about their relationship, and they both knew it. But as long as Spencer could talk him down from these thoughts whenever they arose, they would be okay.

"Come back to bed?"

"...Okay."

Billy floated down to the bed. He always wanted to tell Spencer how he felt, he felt bad that the boy always said it only to be met with nervous smiles and awkward laughs. But the boy knew, didn't he?

"I love you," Spencer murmured again, pressed a chaste kiss to Billy's lips before settling back down to go back to sleep. Billy's lips tingled with lingering warmth.

Yeah. He knew.


End file.
